Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
