her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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