Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
