I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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