spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
