Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
