ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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