Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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