i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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