come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
