it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
