I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
