elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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