we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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