if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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