RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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