Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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