Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It's rum buckets o'clock
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
