You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
