walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
