i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Randomize
