You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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