This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
