no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
