one might say we're banned from that church
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
