Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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