super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
