Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
