Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
