i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
