well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
