He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
