I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
