Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
