Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
