the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize