Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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