How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
