lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
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