What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
