i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
