I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
