She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
