Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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