playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
