No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
