I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
