how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
