Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
