Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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