I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
