im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
